ABOUT

My first solo trip was after I graduated high school in 1986 at the age of 17. The impetus for that trip wasn’t a positive event in my life, but it was the catalyst to put me in a direction that was needed for my survival and my vibrancy. My life took a dramatic turn with the murder of a friend, Jennifer Levin. If you do not remember her, just google. I won’t go into it here, but a pivotal moment that changed the trajectory of my life was her father collapsing on me at her open casket wake saying “Get out now. Let her die for a reason, to save you”. He meant to get out of the NYC/Hampton’s club party scene. My first nightclub was at the age of thirteen. I grew up in the Hampton’s and the eighties were one of those moments in history that can’t be explained. It was lived. It was a crazy time of celebrities, wealth, and decadence. Stuff that movies are made about. Dancing the night away was a way of life for my teenage years. The stories are unbelievable and no we didn’t all survive those years. Murders, suicides, rapes, overdoses, accidents and countless other tragedies were played out, but I was privileged to grow up in a way that I knew one misstep could mean my demise. I somehow was able to navigate away from the chaos, and the men that the Me Too movement came out of, and keep my self worth intact. I grew up resilient. For me, travel, especially solo, has always been a place to reconnect with myself and drown out the noise of regular life. The beauty of time to think. Time to be numb. Time to laugh. Time to cry. Time for great heights and time for great lows. A place where I had to figure things out on my own. A place not to rely on anyone and also a reminder that there are many other ways to live a life. There are so many options out there and I never had to stay in a place or a situation. I always had options. In those days there wasn’t a cell phone, or internet, or any way to find out information beforehand, not even the weather. I just put one foot in front of the other and went on my way. I learned so much about myself and still to this day it is exactly the same. I get asked often about fear and my answer is that I fear not traveling. The blah person I become watching a television sitting on the couch gaining weight scares me more than some made up scenario of what could happen. Nothing has happened in almost 40 years of solo traveling (maybe a little), but I would say that I would not be happy with myself if I sat at home. I have tried, believe me, I feel it might have been an easier life if I was content living a more traditional life, but it just doesn’t make me happy. Can I travel with other people? Yes. Do I enjoy it? Yes, but for small amounts of time. I like getting up when I want to. I like eating or not eating. I like being spontaneous. I like not talking. I like listening to whatever music I want. I like getting lost. I like having no one to turn to. I like going to sleep. I like just doing whatever I want to and not worrying about someone else's feelings. I like taking 100 photos of a blade of grass. As a woman I find it hard to travel with a man. I find that men like being in charge (even though most times I’ve done way more traveling) and I get frustrated. My level of compromising becomes too great that it becomes unenjoyable for me. Women are better travel companions for me. We tend to have more fun and laugh a lot more, but women can bring more stuff and seem to take longer getting ready and most women seem to prefer a plan. I like not knowing where I’m going and I usually book my accommodations the same day or the day before I arrive. I get frustrated when everything needs to be planned out. Therefore, I travel alone. My journey has been a long one, a rewarding one and now I strive to help other people also feel comfortable with solo travel. I find I have become an expert by happenstance. I never set out to be a solo traveler, but my life has consistently taken me down a path that solo travels awaken me to all that I can be and I don't see myself ever stopping.